sad joy

sad joy
life seems for me to be filled with intense sadness,
so intense it is an awful joy

a joy of being
tears may push out yet, joy is in each drop
a deep joy of being in the impermanent permanence
compelled to let go and accept the glaring beauty that is.

When Being awakes!

when Being awakens, Gods are visible every where.
...in people, in chairs, in lyrics to songs.
yet not IN them but permeating through, around, with no starting point or ending point.
what was un-seen, has always been there. here.
this is the reflection of Buddha.

Heart's knowing and Wuzhi

She said "your heart needs to think more positively"
I was infuriated!
I replied my Heart is not wrong! it tells me true things. I believe Heart is honest. not at fault.

I read Zhuang zi.
-on the idea of Wuzhi. a knowing with-out knowing. a mode of knowing.
This is also known as Heart or.....I believe this is the perfect showing of this mode....or...So it seems to me.
I felt sad as Heart knows I cant be with her in the future. It seems Heart knows destiny before it's birth.
I trust my Heart. I trust Heart.
it could be wrong, however, but as for now Heart needs to be respected and tended to.
perhaps this is its wanting

letting joy exist

tears at the surface,
ready to break the last edge of defense
of flow stopping.

She asked- why do I think she's happy?
I replied- because you exist

all these little details, plans.. mean so little.
just the being is all
Burning in joy.
A burning, glowing joy that radiates out and inward

inner smile

always let go
with an inner smile
appreciate all this indiscriminately,
without distinctions.
for all is reflection of Being.
let go with tears,
yet, with an inner smile of
appreciation